Search PolishguyPodcast

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

THE POLISHGUY'S 2023 NFL PREVIEW

 

2023 NFL PREVIEW

 

It’s been a while since I have done one of these with more than a blurb on each team. For the first time since I stopped writing frequently, I had the urge to go a little deeper this season because my excitement has gotten to a level higher than other recent years. I’m not sure why, but it might be because the Bears and Browns (yes, I have two teams) each have interesting seasons ahead of them.

 

If there are any new eyes on this, the methodology I use is varied. I read the preview from Aaron Schatz (Formerly from Football Outsiders, now at FTN Network) and Warren Sharp’s as well. I listen to a ton of podcasts. I go based off the actual schedule while considering rest, home/away, gut feel, possible surprises, boomerang effects, injury history, and QBs. Then I pick each game on the schedule, week by week, game by game.

 

For those who care about such things, I have been within 2 wins for each team over 85% of the time in my writings. However, I am always prone to missing the 1-2 surprise teams since I consider data so much. I tend to have less turnover in the playoffs than I should. It’s hard for me to predict teams like the Vikings of last year who win close games at an unprecedented rate or the mystery team whose fumble luck gets them to a +20 turnover ratio. Let’s have some fun.

 

AFC EAST

 

New York Jets (12-5, 3rd seed)- I am as concerned about the offensive line as most should be. I don’t like teams who go on “Hard Knocks.” Rodgers is old and might be playing high or might get locked inside of a dark chamber, missing two games. However, the defense does what any great modern defense can do—defend the pass with a combination of at least one shutdown corner while rushing the passer well with a rotation of guys. The team had a horrific offense because of bad coaching and a bad QB who had no chance of ridding himself of his ails. The team will be ahead in games much more often and they now have a full RB room and a HOF QB with the best interception rate in history. Look up J.T. O’Sullivan and “The QB School” on YouTube. Watch any Wilson video. Think about switching him for Rodgers. That’s why I’m in.

 

New England Patriots (10-7)- They are 25-25 since Tom Brady left. Some of Darth Hoodie’s decisions are quite confusing. His recent draft record is terrible. In fact, it’s always been average. When I was writing full-time for FootballPros (now gone, was site owned by Cris Collinsworth before he bought PFF), I got tired of hearing how much of genius Belichick was with the draft. With that muse, in 2012, I developed “The Draft Analyzer” that figured out 5-year swaths of bust rates, retention rates, starter rates. He was average in every category except for the number of picks made. His genius was trading for picks to make more mistakes and have more hits. He knows so much about football now that I wonder if he just tries dumb things to make it interesting—like making a defensive coach the Offensive Coordinator. It took one season of watching the maybe not-so-secretly dirty player Mac Jones regress to make Hoodie return to reality. The defense will be great. The special teams will be great. I see a passable offense along with the typical tricks on defense. They get 3-4 free wins facing terrible quarterbacks. I’m pretty sure they can split the rest.

 

Buffalo Bills (10-7)- I love Bills fans. When I see them here in Cleveland, they always have a shot and brat ready for you. There are my kind of people. For the past three seasons, I have liked this team. I’m sorry that I don’t believe in them as much this season. The defense is older and lost some talent. I question where the pass rush will come from. Am I supposed to believe that Von Miller, with an additional injury and now 34 years old, will immediately fix everything when he can play? I get that Josh Allen was on pace for historical numbers before his UCL injury, but am I supposed to believe he won’t get hurt with the way he plays while also expecting a jump from any receiver or running back not named Stefon Diggs? They probably would be better off playing their top two TEs more often, but it seems Allen is at his best playing off-schedule while firing piss missiles from 45 yards away from his target. Remember that playoff game last year when his own stadium took away a part of their offense and the Bengals showed up as the tougher team? I do.

 

Miami Dolphins (9-8)- It’s wild to me that I have this as the second-best division in the league, but only one playoff team from it. Unfortunately, that’s the attrition that can happen when the teams beat up on each other and must face an improved AFC West and a tough NFC East. I love the Miami offense. I like what the defense can do. I think that Mike McDaniel has good schemes and should do a little sketch comedy on the side. The stories about Tua being able to take hits better are interesting and I even think that teaching techniques on how to fall through martial arts training is valuable to him. However, there will be a time this season when he will take a hit where he cannot control the fall. Some guy who runs a 4.5 at 275 pounds will get him when he tries to escape the pocket at a key moment, or when he holds the ball .5 seconds too long on third down, or just when a free blitzer is not seen. Will he get up? What about the next time it happens? The next time? I hope it never happens and I hope he always gets up, but that view is not intellectually honest. I’m not looking forward to the likely end of Tua’s career, whether it's this season or ten years from now. Finally, it’s just hard for me to believe in a front office and ownership group that has been a trash fire for years. Don’t forget about Brian Flores.

 

 

AFC NORTH

 

Cincinnati Bengals (13-4, 2nd seed)- I didn’t want to pick the Bengals to win this division, but I just can’t find many high-likelihoods that can provide that conclusion. Yes, if the calf heard around the sports world pops, the Bengals would not make the playoffs. If 2/3 of the wide receivers are hurt. If the running game cannot supplement Burrow. If the defense that confounded everybody was solved in the off-season. If the pass rush disappears. If the re-made back end of the defense stinks. They’re too deep and too young and there’s just not enough evidence to suggest those things will occur. I have them starting 5-1 into the bye and then going 4-1 right after. There are no spots I can find where a skid happens. The Bengals are good. Next year gets a lot more interesting because they will have Burrow’s new contract on the books and may have to make some tough personnel decisions that could affect the star players.

 

Baltimore Ravens (11-6, 6th seed)- Todd Monken is a big deal. The offense will be more like what Lamar Jackson ran at Louisville rather than relying on scheming Mark Andrews open 8 yards down field, right in front of Jackson’s eyes. I truly believe that the question standing in front of Lamar Jackson and another run at MVP is only injury. I am not buying the idea that they will have enough growing pains with the offense to affect the record. I see that they have three division games in the first five weeks. So, why don’t I buy that narrative? Week 1 is at home versus Houston. Week 3 is at home versus Indianapolis. The real question about the Ravens is the defense. Can it provide enough pass rush? Maybe. Can it cover anybody? Probably not. That’s precisely why I like Lamar Jackson as an MVP candidate. They are going to need 30 points in several games to win. The other thing that might be inevitable is Roquan Smith leading the league in tackles. If things go sideways, he will have plenty of running backs to tackle. If it doesn’t, the defense will still be on the field for a ton of plays.

 

Cleveland Browns (11-6, 7th seed)- I know that no one wants to talk about the Browns. The NFL doesn’t want them in the playoffs since they hate talking about bad news. A large portion of the national media refuses to talk about them in depth. I heard an AFC preview that spent less than 2% of their podcast on them. There are a lot of 6-11 predictions, with several of them coming from NFL Network personalities. I am biased because I am a fan of the team, but I think it is okay to talk about them without discussing the obvious cloud over them. I’m not heartless, but we all know the cloud is there. There is no additional news. In a way, the Browns are the easiest team to decide on because the season is predicated upon whether Watson plays like he did in Houston or if the team implodes around his poor play. It seems almost impossible for him to be as bad as he was last year, but a lot of people are writing off the idea that he will be better. Outside of having of full season of that guy, the front office has done everything it could to cover up recent bad drafts by spending smartly on valuable veterans while attempting to get enough young talent that could put the team over the top. Yes, none of it will matter if Watson stinks. The sports world will celebrate if that happens and a lot of Browns fans will, too, while falling back into the comfortable misery of failure. What I found interesting in my analysis is that the pressure around the team will only increase as they start 1-3 into the bye. It’s going to be an amazing two weeks of coverage by the local and national media. It is possible that the 6-11 record happens. Stefanski may prove to be a terrible coach instead of an average one. The schedule, though, makes that hard to happen. I have a point from the middle to near the end of the season where they win seven of eight games. I see a team with more depth than the last two seasons. I see a new defensive scheme that fits the personnel much better. The Browns as a football team are one of the more interesting ones in the league. I wish people were willing to talk about them.

 

Pittsburgh Steelers (10-7)- The City of Pittsburgh will be building a statue for Mike Tomlin. His sound bites are insane sometimes, but the man knows how to put together a football team. He never has a losing record. However, something else insane happened this preseason. Kenny Pickett, a limited quarterback whom I liked in general, had an incredible series of fake football games where they scored a TD on every drive he played. If one listens to Pittsburgh sports radio, he is the next Tom Brady. He’s going to have to be if the offense makes it to a level beyond league average. They cannot have any injuries to the receiving corps. They are hoping for a sliver of life from Allen Robinson III (There isn’t, and they don’t employ Miracle Max). Diontae Johnson likes to drop footballs. Najee Harris may be a rich man’s Trent Richardson or poor man’s Eddie Lacy. Why do I think the number of big runs will increase this season (league worst)? Are they really going to double the amount of passing TDs from last season (league worst 12 with 7 by KP)? They will be a great defense and I have them as a league surprise, starting 4-0, but tailing off as the schedule dynamics get less friendly. With 45 total wins, this is the best division in the league, but it certainly helps to play the NFC West and AFC South.

 

 

AFC SOUTH

 

Jacksonville Jaguars (10-7, 4th seed)- “Worst Division Ever”-The Comic Book Guy. With 25 total wins, the AFC South is pegged to be the softest division in the league. I have a hard time fully buying into the type around the team. I think the defense is questionable. I know the offensive line stinks and their left tackle is suspended. I do believe in the idea that Trevor Lawrence is now the best quarterback in the division, but with two rookies and the steady mediocrity of Ryan Tannehill as the competition, it’s not a high bar to clear. I like Travis Etienne but question his ability to stay on the field. Calvin Ridley has looked the part after missing the last year and a half of games but needs to prove it in real game action. They couldn’t beat Patrick Mahomes on one leg, but it’s a good thing the division is the equivalent of facing a boxer with no arms. They will be forgotten about, play in the first Wild Card window and only talked about again in next year’s previews. I shouldn’t need to make many edits to this paragraph next year.

 

Tennessee Titans (8-9)- I implore anyone reading this to go over to “The Ringer” and read what is probably Kevin Clark’s last article for them. Mike Vrabel is everyone’s favorite asshole. I like him, too. He will get bad teams to play better than they should. This is a bottom six team in the league in terms of talent. Malik Willis may be playing more snaps this season than anyone wants. I’m not sure if Hopkins has much left. I guess the tight end can catch passes, too. Derrick Henry hasn’t fallen off a cliff yet, but he can’t be very far away from it, either. The secondary looks bad again. They will win games they shouldn’t, and I hope that management keeps Vrabel for the long term while ignoring some rough patches that are bound to happen. They have another Mike Tomlin.  I have them off to a rough start, but being a team that goes on a late run to provide some optimism for next year. There will have to be significant development of in-house talent along with better veteran decisions for that to happen.

 

Indianapolis Colts (4-13)- Jim Irsay seems like a man of the people on Twitter, or X, or whatever I’m supposed to call it now. He should stay on there and never go into the office. Despite having the money to do so in a way where a running back contract wouldn’t be as bad as another team giving one, Irsay decided to tell Jonathan Taylor that he is worthless while simultaneously proving that they are not serious about trading him by asking for a 1st round pick or multiple star players for him. It makes no sense, but it is also a problem that should be addressed by the players during the next CBA negotiations. I also don’t think the team is doing any favors for their young QB, either. Right now, Anthony Richardson is a much more athletic Jeff George. He needs a lot of work that could be helped by, I don’t know, having a happy workhorse running back that is capable of leading the league in rushing. There are a lot of holes on the team overall, but what matters when the offense is destined to struggle for most of the season.

 

 Houston Texans (3-14)- There’s not a lot of difference between the Houston Texans and the Colts. However, the Texans offense might have a decent line and they do have a running back happy to tote the rock. They can cover a little bit. Unfortunately, the Texans have slight differences in the schedule that have me giving them one less win. They won’t be able to do a lot well for long periods of time, but they could get up to 6 wins if Stroud develops because he isn’t on the ground as much as other rookies. Right now, the only ones happy to see this prediction are the Arizona Cardinals, because this shakes out to them having the #1 and the #2 pick of the draft (SPOILER ALERT). It’s easy to call a former Ohio State QB to be the one who busts, but Will Anderson better be good.

 

 

AFC WEST

 

Kansas City Chiefs (14-3. 1st seed)- I have a friend who went to Texas Tech. I am a Mets fan who knows all about Pat Mahomes. The greatness of Patrick Mahomes II cannot be denied. His baseball background and genetics somehow created an arm that can throw a football as if it is a baseball. He can do it from angles not seen before. He’s toughed out injuries and proven that he is the perfect football nerd to pair with Andy Reid. He’s wholesome and married his high school sweetheart. His teammates love him. He’s never had a legal headline. I should like him. No. I should love him.  It’s taken me a long time to figure out why I don’t find him very likeable. His wife did get on my nerves during “Quarterback” on Netflix and his brother seems like a real piece of work, but those things are not usually part of my emotional evaluation. He even has some of my characteristics. He’s a bit awkward and comes off dorky. Then I figured it out. I’m just insanely jealous and angry and I can’t shake it. No one should be that dorky and be the most talented quarterback of all time. He’s not an underdog with a cool story, it’s just not fair. Plus, the Bears could’ve had him and instead got fooled by the Niners to trade up for Mitch Trubisky, who happened to go to my high school. That’s one notch for direct emotional pain. Finally, I root for the rust belt teams to be good. He managed to crush the hearts of Buffalo when I was sure the Bills were winning the Super Bowl. Patrick Mahomes II is a piercing dagger hitting multiple points of my life’s narrative that I just can’t shake. Normally, I’m a leveled headed guy who is still prone to bursts of emotion before calming down into the analytic side of everything. I just can’t do it with Mahomes, and it makes me a little sad that I can’t like him. I guess I need to provide a prediction. They’re great. Those jerks. Okay, fine, they should sign Chris Jones since they are 28th in pressure rate with him off the field and #1 with him on it. If they don’t, they’ll probably just find a way to score more points. Super jerks.

 

Los Angeles Chargers (12-5, 5th seed)- What the Patriots did with their offense last year was dumb, but what the Chargers did to Justin Herbert was criminal. It looked like Herbert was healed enough a few weeks after his rib injury to conduct a real offense. The team chose not to. He had one of the lowest ADOTs (Average Depth of Target) in the league. It was like going to war and knowing your advantage is having the best tanks in the world and then deciding to show up with NERF dart guns. With a changed offense, the Chargers got my faith just one more time. They have failed me and my predictions more often than a Shottenheimer offense in the postseason. There is one major reason to not trust the Chargers. Injuries. They have a lot of guys who like to get injured. As great as Allen, Bosa, and Mike Williams are, they like to get hurt. The left tackle got hurt last year. Obviously, Herbert got hurt. The only major predictor for injury is previous injury. The body never tends to be the same. Some part overcompensates or the part affected is now weaker forever. It’s even tougher in the NFL when there’s more of a chance for freak injury than other sports. I wonder a bit about the coaching staff and how the team failed to close out the Jaguars in the playoffs. It was unforgiveable, but I am willing to buy the talent this season. This is the last time I buy them, though, until I talk myself into it next May.

 

Denver Broncos (7-10)- The defense is going to be good and that’s all I am sure of. They have already lost a couple of pass catchers to injury, and no one knows Jerry Jeudy will ever stay healthy. I have spent a portion of my Twitter life pointing out how fake Russell Wilson is and how no one really likes him, but that was forgiven when he was putting teams within reach of a title. After last season and the fallout in Seattle while seeing them succeed without him, there are plenty of questions surrounding Wilson. Sean Payton and his no big hat attitude is now leading the team. The lack of announcements and PR tweets from Wilson this offseason was noticeable. I’ve heard plenty about Wilson’s weight loss of 15-20 pounds, but I wonder how effective the offense can be with questions at the skill positions. Payton cannot fall back on the ridiculous accuracy of Drew Brees and I wonder how short the leash really is in Denver. Wait, I just agreed with Mike Lombardi. I change everything. I love Russell Wilson. (long pause) In reality, though, this record is more about my faith in the defense than any sort of bounce back from Russell Wilson.

 

Las Vegas Raiders (4-13)- Death, taxes, and someone believing that Josh McDaniels is the answer. I hope some people in the future will do the proper research about McDaniels and find that there is not much support in the idea that he was the reason for success for teams he has been involved with. Maybe that education will be more likely to happen after this inevitable flameout in Vegas. They got rid of a QB to get one that may be worse and will get injured. Plus, Jimmy G. has a fetish (more than other fetish) for finding opposing safeties open over the middle of the field.  Josh Jacobs is unlikely to repeat his production. With 393 touches last year,  the “Curse of 370” may just take him out. Their defense stunk last year and then added no one while getting older. Chandler Jones is coming off a poor season. It’s going to be rough to see Aidan O’Connell get his introduction to the league against the Patriots in week 6.

 

 

NFC EAST

 

Philadelphia Eagles (11-6. 1st seed)- That record and seed is not a typo. The Eagles are still a great team. Jalen Hurts has increased his completion rate each season and it might jump to 68-70 percent this season. The backfield is deep with four viable options. The pass rush should still be there. The team lost Fletcher Cox, but then drafted a player capable of Rookie Defensive Player of the Year in Jalen Carter. If Carter stops having horrible driving incidents that seem to be part of the culture at Georgia (They have had no less than 11 driving-related events since January), the team has no weaknesses. I guess the true spoiler here is just how much I do not trust the NFC this season. I have the AFC at 148 total wins over the NFC’s 124. No other NFC team is at 11 wins for me. Count this as the prediction most likely to be wrong, but the paper is not kind to the Conference. The Eagles are the most talented team, though. They are not the “7” hanging out with a bunch of threes. They are a “ten” that had a bad hair week (tough schedule) while hanging out with a bunch of threes.

 

Dallas Cowboys (9-8, 6th seed)- Much like the Eagles, I like the Cowboys in general. There are concerns, though. Tony Pollard might be as good as most of the world expects him to be, but he will have to tote the ball for 200+ carries for the first time in his career. While he certainly looks the part, it is a question I want answered before fully buying in. At only 25 years old, he should have the tread there, but I just want to see it. I also would like to see Dak Prescott stop throwing bad interceptions and I am not totally sold on the receiving corps outside of CeeDee Lamb. Mike Gallup is latest addition to the IHSHAS (If He Stays Healthy All-Stars). The offensive line is just not going to be as good as recent years, though it will be good enough to provide enough protection for the offense to run. I do expect the defense to be great. They will carry this team to some wins when Dak isn’t playing well, but I would trust them more if the middle of the roster was better than it is. If any of those top 5 players get hurt, they are in trouble.

 

New York Giants (8-9)- Even though I expect a horrible season for the NFC, that mediocrity should produce some fun divisional races. Saquon Barkley should be great again as he searches for a real contract, but it is quite telling when tight ends are getting close to double the money than the star running backs. Unfortunately, it’s going to be a long time before running backs are respected and paid well again. If running backs want to blame nerds like me, they could, but even casual fans sometimes know about the “Curse of 370” made famous by Football Outsiders (sad end to that era, but good to see Schatz and company finding their feet). Really, though, it’s running backs that are hurt worst by the Franchise Tag in the CBA. They can be used up before a second contract with 3-5 years on a rookie deal plus two franchise tags. That’s less true for every other position. Changing that is going to be tough. CBA negotiations are seven years away and it would take a real strike for the Franchise Tag to go away. It may take a strike to limit it to just one use per player. The owners love the Franchise Tag. At that point, it would take support funds from the top 10% for the 80% of the league that can’t afford to miss those paychecks. Also, while I do like what’s going on overall for Big Blue, I think last year was a year too early and I think that Danny Dimes is still not the true long-term answer. According to PFF, he had 7 big-time throws all last season when several guys had games better than that.  I’m watching this team for next year.

 

Washington Commanders (8-9)- Calling them the Washington Football Team was much better. The horrible name change was one of the last of many atrocities foisted upon the world by Chainsaw Dan (This is a reference to an old story reported on by Gregg Easterbrook—it’s truly fascinating). As always, the saddest part of the shitty rich guys and their supposed downfalls is that they usually fill their pockets in the end, failing to have true consequences for their actions. Don’t forget the women he abused and that he also won in the end. He lost a toy but gets to live his life in full. The team on the field is interesting to me. I watched way too much Sam Howell tape and came away impressed. Not so much that he can take a huge leap behind that line along with questions in the backfield, but I think they will be in some games because of him. They will get a few surprise wins and the defensive line will bring pressure. If Chase Young can stay on the field this season, they are even scarier. Most people, including myself, forgot that he was RDPOY in 2020. The back end isn’t bad, either. With talented strengths and some glaring weaknesses, this team has all the earmarks of a .500 team.

 

 

NFC NORTH

 

Minnesota Vikings (9-8, 3rd seed)- With their 9-0 record in games decided by 7 points or less (they even had a win at 8 points, too), the Vikings are guilty of the luckiest season in the history of the league. It is, also, the strongest possible Boomerang Effect ever, but this is the NFC! This team should be just as fun as last year. They traded Adam Theilen for draft pick Jordan Addison as the #2 receiver. I have seen Theilen run this preseason and it is brutal. My son just ran a 5.69 forty at his first flag football practice (People seemed to think that it was fast for a 6 y.o., but I am unsure). I think he can outrun Adam Theilen, though. Kirk Cousins is sporting the best Fu Manchu in several seasons and should keep the team in games. The defense won’t be stopping anyone again, but Brian Flores will at least run enough blitzes that they’ll get there at a few key moments. They probably don’t have a settled running backs room as Alex Mattison is expected to carry a three down back load despite already being injured several times in his career. Rumors are that they are looking at Kareem Hunt. That may be something that comes to fruition, but I think the passing game will be great again.

 

Green Bay Packers (9-8, 7th seed)- As a fan of the Browns and Bears for most of my life, the Packers are a thorn in my side. As my favorite teams have gone through roughly 70 quarterbacks since Jim McMahon and Bernie Kosar, respectively, the Packers have had two. Two. Of course, I am jealous of this, so I have done the best I can to see if Jordan Love is about to make the next 15 years of my life as annoying as the previous thirty. I don’t think he is going to stink. He has improved. I once described him as a kid with a nice arm that can only throw well exactly 15-20 yards down the field between the hashes. Think of Philip Rivers with an arm, but completely unpolished in his footwork. That footwork has improved, but he isn’t totally consistent with it yet. There will be ups and downs with him, particularly when he forgets his recent tutelage.  It has produced better throws down the sideline, but he still has some Derek Anderson in him where he forgets to decrease the RPMs on some shorter, easier throws. Despite this, I have them starting 5-0 before reality sets in and the schedule quirks get tougher, but I cannot wait to see the headlines that week in Green Bay and Chicago. The defense will have their usual hiccups, so the team will have ugly moments during the weeks where Love is struggling and behind. They might really be a 7-10 team, but I think they will hold on to that last spot after the hot start.

 

Chicago Bears (8-9)- It’s starting to get harder and harder for me to separate tape from emotion when it comes to Justin Fields. At this point of his career, no one has started as badly as he has and become successful since at least Troy Aikman. I am not sure what happens at Ohio State that produces such terrible feet for quarterbacks, but it is an epidemic at this point, and it is hard to get behind the signal callers that come out of my Alma Mater. C.J. Stroud, thankfully, has shown better feet as he has progressed during the preseason with Houston, so it was probably good that he got out when he could. The biggest problem I see with Fields is that despite being a hard worker, he regresses into bad habits at the worst moments. He probably shouldn’t have played at all during his first season. It’s nice to have the most dangerous running quarterback in the league, but that first season created bad pocket awareness. There needed to be a balance and it was robbed from him behind that terrible team. Last year, despite what was reported, the line played much better later in the season, but Fields was bailing early and running into more sacks, producing the horrid sack rate we have seen. I think he improves behind a better team, but I wonder if the tape will match the decent record I have them at. Can he continue to unlearn the habits and show improvement in the passing game? I’m not so sure, but he will be fun for fantasy owners. If the wheels do fall off, I hope the Bears can bail before their hope takes them too far.

 

Detroit Lions (7-10)- I wish this team had Jameson Williams for the first six games of the season. I have them not being able to overcome a tough start and Williams might be what would’ve been an edge, particularly against Kansas City and Seattle during the first two weeks. They have a reasonable schedule, but it has a few tough short stretches where other teams have a rest advantage. I need to see Gibbs be a Percy Harvin without the migraines to believe in the strategy, though I think it is a good idea in theory. Jared Goff is playing in a nice situation away from the limelight, but I am not sure if he is the answer. They have a flier on Hendon Hooker waiting in the wings for next season, if need be. I think this team is a lot like the Vikings, but with a worse quarterback. It’s easy to forget that despite the hot end to last season, the defense was still 28th in points allowed. They made investments in that side of the ball with Cam Sutton and C.J. Gardner-Johnson, but free agency hits are not usually things to rely on. I do love the offensive line and believe in the offense overall, so I could easily see this record flipped, but I have them failing due to little things along with a questionable defense when asked to make plays in the 5-12 yard area past the line of scrimmage.

 

 

NFC SOUTH

 

Atlanta Falcons (8-9, 4th seed)- There have been a lot of reports about the easy schedules for Atlanta and New Orleans. Those reports are accurate, but they fail to account for how this entire division is rebuilding and that they still need the talent to beat the teams in front of them. I see a questionable yet developing defense, but not one ready to make up for the offense when it is not clicking. Are we sure Desmond Ridder is going to provide the passing offense needed for them to take a step forward? I liked Ridder out of college and still think he has a chance to be good, but the tape was not kind. The one thing he did better than Marcus Mariota was not throw any interceptions in his four games. His completion rate, ANY/A, and sack rates were all comparable. I do, however, see the running game as the best unit in the entire division, better than the strength of all the passing games, too. The end of the season is going to be hilarious. I have Atlanta losing to New Orleans during the final week but still holding onto the tiebreaker to win the division.

 

New Orleans Saints (8-9)- The defense continues to suffer from the eventual attrition of playing the salary cap game of going significantly over each season and then performing gymnastics to make it all work (Hello Browns in 2025!). The cap is mostly fake, but all the guaranteed money still must be paid out and there is only so much that can be done with 40, 60, even 85-million-dollar deficits. The cap is more fake for those in the minus twenty to thirty range. I don’t see that much of a difference in the offense and the running game is unimpressive overall. Missing Alvin Kamara for playing soccer with some dude’s head (for review, horrific assaults are three games, while using a cell phone to bet in your own locker room is anywhere from six games to a year) isn’t going to help. Picking a division winner here is about as much fun as going to a restaurant where all they serve is steamed rice or unsmoked, dry ham sandwiches.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-11)- The battle between Baker Mayfield and Kyle Trask was so riveting that there was a video shared over social media about just how many horrible incompletions they were throwing. When it got to the games, though, Mayfield played better than Trask and it was obvious who was going to win the job. There’s some scuttlebutt around the league that the Bucs might be better than advertised because the receiving corps is still good with Chris Godwin and Mike Evans (9 straight 1,000 yard seasons to begin his career despite missing games in five of them). If Baker Mayfield wasn’t good with Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr. before they were totally cooked, why should I believe in him now? The Buccaneers had an average offensive line at best before Ryan Jensen announced his retirement, so Baker’s tendency to panic in the pocket under pressure or trust his arm too much is surely to rise again. There are questions in the backfield behind him, so I just don’t see the support others are assuming. The defense looks like it will still be pretty good with its remaining star power of Vea, Barrett, White, David, Dean, and Winfield Jr. I just don’t really see it with the offense. Tampa Bay gets another three years before complaining is allowed, that’s the five-year Super Bowl rule.

 

Carolina Panthers (5-12)- When the NCAA basketball tournament is talked about every year, the mantra for the top teams is always “survive and advance.” That’s how the organization should feel about this season and how Bryce Young should feel personally. Young, as expected, looks small out there. Also, as expected, his accuracy and understanding of the schemes was on display when he had time to throw the ball. I turned on the first preseason game against the Giants and counted three big hits in a small number of plays. That did not change much against the other teams, and I already mentioned how Adam Theilen looks so slow that he still running routes from last year. With a depth chart that reads rookie Jonathan Mingo, D.J. Chark, Terrace Marshall Jr., Laviska Shenault Jr., Ihmir Smith-Marsette behind Theilen, I see a room that isn’t scaring most of the secondaries in the league. I hope for Young’s sake that Miles Sanders can find holes when not running behind the Eagles offensive line. Again, they are a team where I like most of the decisions being made, but it’s going to take time.

 

 

NFC WEST

 

San Francisco 49ers (10-7, 2nd seed)- I don’t like the Niners as much as most of the media. Nick Bosa and George Kittle look like they are going to miss the first game against the Steelers. In fact, I think the Steelers will win that game. Brock Purdy got away with a ton of throws simply because Shanahan’s schemes are so good, but also because he got insanely lucky. They still have all the talent they did last year before they ran out of quarterbacks in the NFC Championship Game, but the schedule is brutal outside of the division. They play the AFC North and the NFC East. They will see Kittle and Bosa miss games because they tend to do that, even if it isn’t week one against Pittsburgh. The idea of Sam Darnold playing a meaningful number of snaps looms large. Can Kyle Shanahan work his magic on him? Plus, I always look at the depth chart of the offensive line and wonder just how they are pulling it off each year. Then again, they did lose every quarterback last season. I can’t possibly make this record any worse because of the talent, but don’t love them even though they are the 2nd seed in the NFC.

 

Seattle Seahawks (10-7, 5th seed)- When I was writing full-time, it included the years of Tim Tebow and Geno Smith in New York. It was fun and hilarious. If I was drugged and woken up after a period of time and then told that I had to write “Geno Smith is good,” I would’ve assumed it was still a dream, and asked for more drugs. Then I would’ve asked if the person talking to me was high. After they said “yes,” I would’ve found the first sober football fan I could and asked again. If they told me the same, I would’ve asked to be knocked out. So, I am here with this shiner, sitting in a drug fog telling the world that Geno Smith is good. Now, he is only extremely good in specific ways, but Pete Carroll loves running the ball and then throwing it deep. Geno Smith excels with situations when he is allowed to air it out. He has just enough twitch in and around the pocket to buy the time needed to. I’m also a little annoyed that the Seahawks are on my list of teams to watch the condensed games of after I re-watch the Browns and Bears each week. I’ve spent a good part of my life having worse stomach problems than that passenger on Delta flight DL194 out of Atlanta last Friday when looking at those horrific bright green uniforms. Thankfully, I have finally trained my eyes to tolerate them enough to watch their entertaining games. I am now a part of my son’s life again. The other teams on my must watch list: Lions, Vikings, Jets, Jags, and Commanders.

 

Los Angeles Rams (4-13)- Matt Stafford’s wife decided that it was a good idea to admit on her podcast that the Rams quarterback just didn’t understand the youngsters these days and their obsession with these new-fangled hand devices (smart phones, though he probably still calls them mobiles). Cooper Kupp is seeing a specialist over his inability to stop pulling his hamstring. Hilariously, the team is calling him “day-to-day.” This sounds a lot like the 31% of preseason tissue injuries that tend to linger over the course of the whole season (this is from the NFL itself as they started tracking this under their Health & Wellness initiative). I do love how the remaining names in the receiving corps sound made up: Ben Skowronek, Tutu Atwell, Van Jefferson, Puka Nacua. Aaron Donald is not going to be able to do it himself and he lost some support behind him this offseason on a defense that was 21st in points allowed last year. Cam Akers and the team have apparently made up enough that he is expected to carry the load for the team again. He was great during the final six games of the year, but can we expect to see it go the whole season? The next offseason might be the perfect time for Sean McVay to take a year off before finding a better place to be in 2025.

 

Arizona Cardinals (4-13)- I considered making this record worse after the last week. There’s a good argument to do so. If one missed it, the Cardinals media team showed their coach give the most boring speech for the beginning of the season. Sure, there are plenty of guys who can be good coaches that don’t give off great impressions or are great in front of the camera (Nick Sirianni’s opening presser is going to be the reference here for a while), but I look at it another way. Someone from the PR and media departments had to sign off on that opener and that was the best they could do. Arizona is the worst-run franchise in the league with Dan Snyder gone and the players hate them. Check out their poor players rating from The Athletic’s player survey, so it is possible that it was just horribly mishandled. Information given in the survey Included making the players pay for food in the cafeteria, which almost unheard of these days. The roster is an absolute mess with no plan in place yet. The few areas of strength are stacked at the same positions. The head coach or GM seems to think that threatening the opposing team with not telling them who the quarterback is going to be is a competitive advantage. Well, when those two quarterbacks are Clayton Tune and Josh Dobbs, I’m pretty sure that opposing teams could log a Johnny Manziel amount of film hours (A Blutarsky-esque 0.0, according to his recent Netflix documentary) and do just fine against the Cardinals this season. I think the wheels are turning here for Kyler Murray to be traded to somebody (please be the Raiders, please be the Raiders) this offseason to piggyback off the two top five picks they will have for the 2024 NFL Draft.

 

AFC PLAYOFFS

#2 Cincinnati over #7 Cleveland

#6 Baltimore over #3 New York Jets

#5 Los Angeles Chargers over #4 Jacksonville

 

#1 Kansas City over #6 Baltimore

#2 Cincinnati over #5 Los Angeles Chargers

 

#1 Kansas City over #2 Cincinnati

 

NFC PLAYOFFS

#2 San Francisco over #7 Green Bay

#6 Dallas over #3 Minnesota

#5 Seattle over #4 Atlanta

 

#1 Philadelphia over #6 Dallas

#5 Seattle over #2 San Francisco

 

#1 Philadelphia over #5 Seattle

 

SB 58

Philadelphia 34, Kansas City 31

No comments:

Post a Comment